April 17th, 2018 – I’ve just arrived at my hostel in London, I haven’t slept in 30 hours but I can’t force my body to rest. I’m homesick and riddled with anxiety and fear. Two months of travelling alone is all that is on my mind, I can’t think clearly but my brain tells me I can’t do it. I want to rid the emotions by returning to the airport and to my comfort. My inner voice promises me these overwhelming feelings will stay with me forever.
May 6th, 2018 – I’m sitting on a beach on the Greek island, Paros, with a book in my hand, soaking in the sun, sharing a kilometre of beach with only one other person. My eyes reflect the turquoise Aegean Sea, my heart is full, I breathe deeply and try to hold on to every inch of this moment. It’s one of those beautiful ones that you never want to end.
But both instances came and went, in hindsight, they happened in a flash. There were many similar such moments that threatened to overwhelm me throughout my travels, yet they did not deter me. What they did do was etch into me a lesson that all moments pass. No matter how badly my body wanted to hold onto the incredible moment, or how deeply I believed the fear and doubt would last forever, they didn’t. The good always followed the bad.
Regardless of whether I’m in Greece, or London, or home, or at work – there continues to be moments that threaten to hold me hostage. I look to practice patience with myself and try to remember that the moments will pass…
The feeling of inadequacy as an intern will eventually fall to the wayside.
The feeling of incompetence in a new job will eventually wear away.
The feeling of failure after not receiving the job you interviewed for will become a blessing or new opportunity.
The feeling of silliness when starting a new sport will bounce off.
The feeling of idiocy when working on a new project will end.
The feeling of being lost when you don’t really know what you are looking for will lead to where you need to be.
In the face of adversity breathe deeply, hold onto every inch of the moment, and be thankful for the person you’ll be on the other side.
Sara
