One of the scariest thoughts to me is the reality of how much of an impact fear has on my daily life. When I spend time reflecting on even the smallest of moments, I realize that fear can often boil down to the root of why I chose not to create a small connection with a stranger or try a new fitness class or email someone regarding a position with their organization. I believe this fear is far too prominent among us all. It’s that little voice inside of your head that tells you that you can’t, or you shouldn’t, or that what you are doing is stupid or silly.
One of the biggest problems with this type of fear is that it can go unnoticed. It manipulates so many of the thoughts that cross your worried mind in a way that will unquestionably cause you to be unsure. I challenge you to think of a decision you made today, big or small, which was somehow affected by the type of fear-dripping-self-doubt I am talking about. Did you not talk to a stranger, open a text, crack a joke, tell some lady she had something in her teeth? Or was it something bigger? This type of reflection is important, because if you don’t recognize it, you surely can’t change your actions.
In any of the situations you have just thought of, the common factor was probably as follows: the fear in the outcome was enough to deter one from completing said action. So with that comes my favourite question: What’s the worst thing that could happen?
I challenge myself to pose this question as often as I can. This question puts things into perspective. Now let me connect it to the business world…
I’m sure you have heard countless times about how difficult landing a job in the sports industry is. Everybody and their dog want a position with a professional team. Literally hundreds of people are applying to that job that you want. So for me, I begin to think about how little me will stand out among those hundreds of people. One thing that tops my list every time is sending the manager a direct email. If you have read even one LinkedIn article on receiving a job you want, or listened to a professor or mentor for one minute, I’m sure you’ve heard the importance of connecting and following-up. You’ve heard that you need to reach out to hiring managers or ask someone in your network to connect you. You need to do whatever it takes to make yourself noticed and a quick email will do this. With the wonders of the internet, not being able to find a way to connect with them is not an excuse I can live with. I can guarantee finding an email, email pattern, or someone’s LinkedIn profile is possible, easy even. So reaching out should be thoughtless.
But here they come, those waves of doubt. Should you send that email? Is it annoying/dumb/silly/meaningless etc? The reality is sending those emails are one of those things that can be quite scary. Not horror movie scary, but the kind that causes enough self-doubt to hold yourself captive to sending that quick little email.
Here is when I challenge you to slot in that question I love: What’s the worse thing that could happen?
That question provides clarity for me. If I can live with the answer then I know I need to go ahead with it, despite how truly scary it can seem. So the list of worse possible scenarios I can come up with usually look like this:
- They do not respond.
- They say no.
And do you want to know the outcome of both of these very awful scenarios: You are the same place you were before. Not a single bad thing happened. You are the same and your situation is the same. What’s not the same is the action you took to get to where you want to go. And if you didn’t catch my “awful” joke, neither of these options are truly that awful at all.
For me, I have to ask myself that question a lot. I hate asking people for favours, so I ask myself that question. I get worried when I think I might bother people whom I really admire, so I ask myself that question. I get nervous to reach out to someone I don’t know, so I ask myself that question. I feel uncomfortable networking, so I ask myself that question. Fear is binding; don’t let it hold you back.
Go after what you want. Do the things that scare you and as you do consider, what’s the worse thing that could happen?
Sara
