To settle is defined as the act “to establish or secure permanently, or to become fixed, resolved, or established.”
To many, myself included, these words – established, resolved, secure – foster a sense of comfort. In a time where there is a seemingly constant need to adapt to frequently changing circumstances, it can be comforting to think that settling is synonymous with occupying a secure position, being personally and professionally established, or being on a path that is leading toward a fixed destination.
Unfortunately, this supposed sense of security is what leads far too many people to settle. To establish or secure permanently, or to become fixed, resolved, or established in comfort. Settling for the options that, while they diminish the potential challenges and strains, effectively eliminate any likelihood of personal or professional fulfillment.
The appeal of comfort has normalized earning degrees based on the potential salary or depth of the hiring pool instead of our actual interest in them. We now feel the need to maintain relationships because of their long-standing presence in our lives instead of the value they bring to our person. And taking a job that pay the bills instead of pursuing a career of which we are passionate, challenged and motivated, is not only common, but often encouraged.
The contrast between settling for something and settling down should be noted. Settling down comes to be over time, and usually occurs organically. With oftentimes decreasing physical ability to keep up and increasing responsibilities and time constraints, settling down will occur unintentionally, and in due time.
On the other hand, settling for something – that is an intentional act. It is the decision to choose a degree, relationship, a job – not because it is your true calling or what you actually want, but because it leads to the oftentimes easier, safer and seemingly more comfortable route. This route is, as proven by the many people still alive today, pretty easy to navigate. But although it is safe, as the path of least resistance, it breeds complacency.
When navigating through the rough and uncertain waters that is searching to find your true calling, there is a certain desire and need to strive for something better that is instilled. By settling with the comfortable option in anything, one is unlikely to foster the need to strive for anything more. It is comfortable and safe, but without the sense of urgency, we begin to accept things as they are. Be it personally or professionally – slowly, the satisfaction with comfort overtakes the need or desire for fulfillment. The focus is taken away from what there is to gain, and turned toward what there is to give up.
We are all aware that our lives are shaped by the choices we make – should it be between college or university, moving out or staying at home, travelling or making a contribution to your savings account. Big or small, a choice is our vote for the path that we are going to follow.
To either be giving up something now, or waiting to gain something later, feeling immediate uncertainty and eventual regret – we have the freedom to choose for what we are going to settle. And consequently, how, for whom, and for what we are going to live.
JL
